I'm going to save us a bunch of trouble here and be completely honest from the start. I am a Browncoat though honestly if firefly had never existed i would still utterly loath Fox in all its forms. That being said ive never had an experience like this before this show is like a microcosm of everything i hate about fox. I made it to the 15 minute mark and was so done i checked my DVR to make sure i deleted it without realizing i had done it like i subconsciously needed to know i had exercised the evil from my house.
So i as a general rule try to avoid promotional material so i went into Scream Queens knowing exactly 2 things. The tittle which is regrettably a pretty awesome tittle and that the original scream queen Jamie Lee Curtis was a member of the cast. I had hope given the comic book boom that at best this would be a Fox-ized rendition of Hack and Slash or at worst a Slasher movie stretched out over a season like From Dusk till Dawn (check it out surprisingly good) or American horror Story. I was correct in the later ...ish.
See here's the thing.
This isnt scary which is strange because honestly one of the scariest movies i know is sorority row so i was good to go with the overall premise of a killer stalking a sorority. However everything is just too bright and visible even the night scenes which make absolutely not sense. Every good horror anything need to have great first kill like a get psyched mix it needs a shot to the heart. First death in the series is someone dead from labor or at least looks like it. Ok its setting mystery up for the series we can let that one go, next on up. Death by hydrochloric acid in replace of spray tan, points for originality, Negative points for no atmosphere, that it just goes by way to quickly, the gore involved is just not impressive and i know nothing of this character except this was kinda regicide and she was a bitch. I'm sure the rest of the characters are all charmers.
*slaps forehead* Yeah lets get into that.
Im sure someone (if anyone actually reads this) reading this thinks i'm about to pull the trigger on the old horror is just full of assholes now to be picked off without any character spiel. I'm not, one because i find the argument invalid because sometimes yes you do just want to see the bodies hit floor thats between you and the director. However personally yes i do like characters i care about in my narrative. An given the fact this isnt a 2 hour movie but a series. Well look at it this way if every character was Joffrey in game of thrones would you really care that they were killing each other? its just something that maybe personally is tolerable for 2 hours but not enough to keep coming back. Especially when even the characters im suppose to feel sympathy or possible root for? Annoy me.
Miscast of great actresses.
Emma Robert eat a damn sandwich! Then get a rewrite because you are no queen bitch. Seriously some people have the swagger for that gig but Nancy Drew does not. A Machiavellian schemer a ya you wear that like a glove made of puppies. That dont make you the she wolf of the ss theirs just something in her eyes that's like shes apologies and the narrating isnt helping.
Abigail Breslin who the put little rock in the corner? seriously i just dont see here playing second string to someone like this. Theirs a scene wear under orders from Nancy Drew to slap herself in the face and she hesitates and you can clearly see its not fear. its wtf em i doing.
Honestly im hoping a real reviewer like erod or Jachula takes a run on this later because honestly probably only scratching the surfaces (didn't even bring up the devil costume. )